Tis the season

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Tis the season folks-holiday party season!This year my husband decided it would be fun to host a Christmas/end of the semester party for his department colleagues and their significant others.  I’m not one to turn down a Pinterest opportunity (can you tell I have a slight obsession yet? Not sorry.), so I quickly made a new board and got to planning.  Food, drinks, décor-I was a pinning madwoman! As a stay at home mom, my adult interactions are few and far between and I was very much looking forward to a night full of it. Then it happened. The morning of the party. I had a to-do list a mile long: my toddler-nado joyfully destroys my house daily, so toys needed to be rounded up, floors cleaned, bathrooms scrubbed.  Last minute grocery shopping needed to be done. I woke up ready to take on the day-and then my husband said he didn’t feel good. No!! Not the man flu! Not today! My mom is taking my 2 year old for a “slumber party,” my baby is going to cooperate and sleep through the party, and I am going to speak in full non-baby sentences while sipping an adult beverage. Not today!! He truly looked miserable throughout the morning, but I was feeling more sorry for myself.  I think I came within inches of melting down.  I love love love my boys-they are my world and my everything-but every momma needs a break once in a while, and I had not had one in ages.  As my husband moped around and tried to nap off his evil illness, I saw my little break (not to mention my Pinterest projects) fading away, and I was sincerely sad about it.  I tried to stay positive (although my husband may remember otherwise…), but the morning ticked away, nothing got done, and I resigned myself that it wasn’t going to happen. Alas, the party went on!! After a few naps, some food, and-most importantly I’m sure-encouraging words from his wife, my husband decided he felt well enough to soldier on. Excellent!! Except now a whole day’s worth of to-do’s needed to be done in a few hours. No worries, that’s what spare rooms are for.  Toys (and many other things…) were stuffed away out of sight, Yankee candles were lit, and food prep began! My mom was a huge help in wrangling my 2 year old while I scurried around cleaning and rolling meatballs (so gross, but so tasty). We had a great time, and my 4 month old mostly cooperated.  I got my much-needed adult time, ate too much, enjoyed some libations, and went to bed happy.  Happy holidays, friends! *In case anyone is wondering, I served turkey/Italian sausage meatballs and spinach and artichoke bites.  My aunt runs a chocolate business and provided us with an AMAZING and highly recommended Chocolate Pretzel Pizza (also, it comes with a wooden hammer you get to smash the pizza with-uh, awesome).  Guests brought additional sides and desserts. I *attempted* to make “Grinch Punch” ala Pinterest, but my husband could only find multi-colored sherbet, so it ended up looking more like dirty water. It was still delicious though! We also had beer, wine, and non-alcoholic beverages. I set everything up buffet-style on our long kitchen countertop.  It was very informal and easy-going! We had a few guests arrive fashionably early, so I didn’t get to snap as many pics as I would have liked, but I’ve attached a few! (Lucky for you all I got an excellent snap of my dirty water punch :-p)

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Meatballs: http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/turkey-meatballs-10000001875604/ (I substituted the turkey sausage with Italian sausage and loved the outcome.  I also browned the meatballs before adding to the crockpot)

Spinach and artichoke bites: http://parkhouselove.com/2012/04/09/spinach-artichoke-bites/ (These were AWESOME and super easy)

Chocolate Pretzel Pizza: http://sweetsecretschocolate.com/product/party-on-chocolate-pretzel-pizza/

Two under two

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I always wanted a boy and a girl, preferably in that order. I have older brothers and I loved that I always had them looking out for me growing up (as well as tormenting me, but it’s funny how we so easily forget the bad stuff as we grow older). Hubby and I were married five years before Douglas was born. Doesn’t seem like an eternity, but boy it must have felt that way to eager friends and family. I can’t tell you how many people asked us in those 5 years, “Soooo. Are you going to have any kids??” We would kindly reply that although yes we DID want kids, we wanted to selfishly be husband and wife for a little bit. We allowed ourselves five years to be only just that.

After Douglas was born (and our titles changed to Mom and Dad), we couldn’t remember our lives without him. He was perfect and our family felt complete. Except, it wasn’t. We knew we wanted just one more. A lifelong friend for Douglas. Another child to spoil with kisses and adore. Our little girl. Douglas was around 8 months and although we didn’t really TRY to conceive, we certainly didn’t try NOT to… so after feeling those familiar symptoms that I felt just under a year before, I took a spare pregnancy test I had from my TTC days and there were the words as bright as day: Pregnant. I woke up my husband and quietly said, “uhh, babe? Guess what?” His sleepy reply (and I’ll never forget it) was, “let me guess…” 😉

We knew it wouldn’t be easy, having two under 2. Douglas was exactly a year and a half when his baby sister was born. He wasn’t old enough to understand that mommy needed to divvy up her time between two babies, with more of the time spent on Violet for obvious reasons. He would try to pull her off of me when I breastfed and tell me “ouch!” (as if he was helping me realize I had a milk-sucking leech feeding off of me). He began accepting our new family dynamic more and more as time passed. It was hard to give each child exactly 50%, which is what I intended to do. I’d make up for lost time with Douglas with some quality mommy-son reading sessions… and then Violet would wake up crying from a nap. I’d look down at Douglas and although he may not have understood why, he eventually figured out that reading time had to stop when Violet said so. His big, sad brown eyes broke my heart, but he would watch me walk out of the room and he didn’t fuss once.

Although it didn’t seem like it’d be fun for him, I made sure to include him in everything… and THAT really helped him break the ice with Violet. He proudly helped me get clean diapers, a pacifier, a burp cloth, or just to make Violet smile. He would hold up his Lightening McQueen car and say, “Violet, RED car! RED!” I couldn’t have asked for a better sibling dynamic. Once he found and accepted his role as big brother, he couldn’t have possibly shown her any more affection. His favorite phrase is “baby cuuuute!!!” and he clenches his teeth and his eyes widen when he says it… so you know he really means it. 🙂

Violet is now 3.5 months and Douglas is 21 months. It’s gotten MUCH easier. I am conscious about not leaving Douglas out of activities, even if it is just making dinner or feeding the cat. I also make sure to still hold and rock and sway him to music, like we used to do pre-Violet. I often have to remind myself that he’s not even 2. He needs his mommy as much as she does. She may be fussy and getting her first tooth, but he’s getting his molars and that deserves a big mommy hug too. I have learned to combine activities. For instance now when we read I Love You Through and Through, all three of us lay down in bed and I kiss each of them as the pages call out. One nose kiss for Douglas, one nose kiss for Violet. One ear tug for Douglas. One ear tug for Violet. He giggles throughout and is truly happy that we have another to share in our play and our immense love for one another.

Now we can’t remember our lives before Douglas AND Violet. Sure, we have two in diapers, two drinking from bottles, two needing (ahem. wanting) to be carried all the time, two waking up in the middle of the night, and two vying for mom and dad’s constant attention… but I truly wouldn’t want it any other way.

By Denise

Traveling with kids: Getting started

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My husband and I (this is Rebecca) always enjoyed traveling, mostly within the United States. We lived at least a 5 hour plane ride from our families for most of our 13 years of marriage. I enjoy planning our trips and finding those fantastic deals. Then, we had our first child…
With family so far away, not traveling wasn’t an option. But really, how do you travel with kids? I am here to say, “Fear not! It is possible!(And maybe even, still enjoyable)” Is it the same? Nope, far from it! You remember sitting, bored, on an airplane flipping through Skymall? Well, that’s not in your future any more. Like the rest of life, having kids changes how you will travel, maybe even where you travel, but don’t let your fear hold you back – get out there!
When Parker was 2yrs and 6 months we packed up our entire household and shipped it to the West Coast. Then we loaded up our 5th wheel trailer and our truck with ourselves, our 2 dogs, and only what we needed to live for the next 3 months and headed West. We spent 1 month traveling from Michigan to California. By the time we did this Parker had taken many trips with us: 8 trips by plane, 6 road trips, 3 RV trips (camping), and even one sailing trip. He was a seasoned traveler.
At this point you might be thinking, “Wow, they must have an easy child.” You would be wrong. We have a normal child, just like everyone else. Trust me, we had our fair share of travel disasters such as the road trip where my MIL, myself, and Parker were all in tears by the time we reached our destination, or the lost pacifier at Disney World (why couldn’t my child have liked the brand you could buy at just any store?), there was the ER trip for the split forehead, Oh I could go on, but I think you get the point.
So, there will be future posts about specific types of travel with kids, but this one is just to getting you thinking about it and to encourage you to just do it! Hear are a few basics to get you started:
1. Think about your daily schedule at home. Does your kid sleep well in the car? Do they NEED their naps (aka are they a monster when they are missed)? Can they sleep in the same room as you? Are they mobile yet? Do they follow directions yet?
2. Work their needs into your itinerary. For example: Parker naps in his car seat, so we plan driving times during nap time, or flights during nap time (and we take his car seat on the plane). His car seat naps aren’t as good as in-bed naps, so we make sure to plan ‘down days’ (aka days that don’t have much planned) so he can get some quality naps in as well.
3. Plan around your family’s living style. If you co-sleep, make sure you get a room with a big enough bed. If you are like us and your child needs quiet seclusion to go to sleep, then get a 2 room suite, or rent a condo (often much cheaper than a hotel and you get a kitchen).
4. Plan ahead!!!! For example: If you have never taken your baby to a sit down restaurant, don’t get a hotel and plan on doing that for every meal. Try a few long car rides, or restaurants, or travel bassinet, or whatever it is first – before you go.
5. Pack wisely. Ok, I am the Queen of forgetting 1 crucial item per trip. Seriously, there was a string of trips I forgot our hairbrush. I think we own 10 now! You WILL forget things! It’s almost always ok. Most trips aren’t to some exotic or remote local where a replacement can not be had. The last trip we did required a trip to Target the first full day – I managed to forget PJ’s for our youngest – oops! Yet, you do not need to bring the kitchen sink! I pack one outfit per person, per day, plus a spare – if there is a disaster and we need more then we will find a laundry mat (it’s happened).
I was talking to a friend about her first trip with her little girl – she laughed as she recalled watching her husband make 4 trips from the car to the hotel room with all their stuff (including the bouncy seat, swing, and all) for a one night trip. Not necessary! Her daughter slept only in the swing during that time. Great! Then pack the swing, but not the pack n’ play, for example. Check what can be borrowed, rented, or acquired at your destination. For our sailing trip the charter company didn’t have toddler life vests so we brought ours. On the other hand, when we went to Orlando we learned about a company that delivers items to your door on rent (crib, toys, you name it). Sometimes when my parents drive to meet us at a destination that we have to fly to, I have my Mom borrow items from her friends and bring them (high chair,, or walker for example).
Ok, I think that’s enough food for thought. I’ll end with this: just like with life, kids makes traveling more challenging, but it also makes it more spectacular. I’ve seen the ecards that have made their rounds that say things about how a vacation is not a vacation for Mom. That is true, usually vacations are more work and stress for me than a normal day at home, but I wouldn’t trade it anyway. The wonder of new things through their eyes is amazing. The chance to get out of your daily routine and make lasting memories together is totally worth it! Some of my fondest memories are from ‘vacation’.

Prepping for a baby?

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First of all CONGRATS!  And here’s some completely unsolicited advice from Kristen, a FTM with a now 3 month old!  (Holy crap, the time really does fly!)

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As a FTM, I was an absolute nightmare before the baby came.  I had no idea what to expect and wanted to be the most prepared mother in the history of mothers.  Can we say Type A?!  So, now that my baby is here and all I want to do is enjoy her, I am going to share some things you can do PRE-BABY to make your time with your new baby that much more enjoyable. 

Here are some things that make my day-to-day life easier on a daily basis:

n  Join Amazon Prime!  It shows up at the door in 2 days.  I don’t have to try to get myself together, get the baby together, pack up the diaper bag, check the weather report (staying inside a lot REALLY skews your concept of weather), etc.  I just hop on the laptop, tablet, or even smartphone and get it done.

n  Join Amazon Mom if you are into online shopping and shopping around for the best deal.  My husband and I sometimes have a hard time coming up with 5 items that are cheaper, but we have a lot of items added – we just don’t need them all refilled in the same amount of time.  If there seems to be interest on this topic, I will come back to it in a future post.

n  Join a local warehouse store.  The closest one for me is a BJs, but we have previously belonged to Sam’s Club and Costco.  It’s a lot harder to leave your baby to run to the store than you think it will be.  If you can get some long term shopping done and stock up ahead of time and then periodically, you’ll feel great.  It’s easier to have things on hand.

n  STOCK THE FREEZER! This has been a major help.  My sister came to visit when I was 38 weeks pregnant and we cooked for 2 straight days.  It was absolutely exhausting.  It was August – my feet were super sore and swollen.  I hated my life those 2 days.  I thought I was a complete idiot for agreeing to do this and was certain I would be going into labor any second (she came 3 days late, in case you’re curious). I have absolutely LOVED having that food ready to go.  My next post will be freezer specific.  Now that I have lived and learned from it, I have a lot to say about it.

Here are some things that make my emotional life easier on a daily basis:
**(Some of this is specific to my life situation.  I am very blessed to have a supportive husband.  If you do not have a SO, your days will be different and these may not apply to you.)

n  Get yourself a support group of other mommies.  Seriously.  Even if you are the kind of girl that doesn’t like other girls.  This is INSANELY essential.  I feel closer to some of my online mommy friends than people I see on a regular basis.

n  In the beginning, TAKE IT EASY.  Your body just went through something absolutely amazing but also absolutely traumatic.  While your baby is adjusting to this big scary world, your body is readjusting.  It takes time.  Do not try to rush anything.  Sit/lay down.  Drink water.  SLEEP when you can (hopefully your baby is a good napper and you can follow the advice of sleep when the baby sleeps.  If not, you will probably want to punch everyone who says it and believe me, I feel your pain.  More on that later!)

n  Have some kind of plan with your SO as to how to get you some alone time every day.  Even if it is just 15 minutes to take a shower or have a cup of coffee.  It is important to remain yourself as you were pre-pregnancy (and let’s face it, pre-trying!) if you can remember what that was even like.

n  Have a plan for you and your SO to have some time together every day – just the two of you – to discuss NON-BABY stuff.  We cover all the baby stuff he gets home from work and after she goes down for the night we are just a married couple again (with more laundry).

n  Go outside!  Not for errands.  Just to go outside, weather permitting.  Take walks, sit on the patio, check the mailbox.  Feel the sun and breeze on your skin and get some fresh air into your lungs.  It will do you so much good and it will do your baby good, too!  Decide if you want to be a baby wearer and then pick out some awesome carriers (Cassandra is our resident baby-wearing expert).  If not, a strolled might be your best option! 

n  Be realistic!  For me, I’m staying home for a year and planning to return to work in August 2014, and because I am home I assumed I would have a ton of free time.  I had visions of sending my husband to work with fancy packed lunches, dinner on the table when he got home…  Looking back, that’s downright laughable.  Set TINY goals and truly feel accomplished when you meet these goals.  Start simple like “take a shower today” or “vacuum the living room.”  As your baby grows so will your free time and therefore your daily tasks!

Hindsight being 20/20 and all, if you are a FTM and can afford it, I recommend considering a postpartum doula if you are planning to breastfeed or a postpartum night nurse if you are planning to bottle feed.  I was fortunate enough to have a lot of family help in the beginning.  However, I was trying to maneuver the big scary world of breastfeeding with trips back to the hospital to see the LC and it wasn’t going well.  It would have been great to have a doula stop by a few hours a day/week and be able to help me in the comfort of my own home.  I never even thought about it until long after the fact when breastfeeding had failed, I had stopped EP, and started considering relactating (yup, you guessed it, a post about that is coming up!).

So really, prep ahead of time so that you can just be the mommy you want to be!  Enjoy it.. each day seems to pass faster than the previous!

3 months and not rolling over

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Hey, it’s Cassandra here. I think this is probably the best first post I can offer right now. Currently the two muchkins are taking their naps and I am indulging in a little baby and toddler free time. With my first baby, it was hard for me to take time to myself. I had a really hard time setting her down, even to go to the bathroom. I was so overwhelmed with the responsibility of parenting, I was constantly on edge and hovering over her every move. Now that we have added number two to the growing brood, I find that I am a lot more casual about milestones, crankiness, clothing, going out, etc…Before I was obsessively tracking all of the “average” baby milestones through my handy dandy What to Expect When You Are Expecting App, fretting over every little cough, sniffle, and eye movement. She couldn’t grow up fast enough. I wanted her rolling over at three months, sitting up at six months, crawling at whenever they say she should be crawling, and walking by one year. To be honest, in all of my efforts to watch her into these milestones, I forgot to write any of them down. I also put way too much pressure on her and on me as her mother. She didn’t hit a single one of those averages. She eventually learned to roll over, whenever that was. She sat up around seven months, I think. She was walking around Christmas time, a few months after her first birthday. Her first word was “no” and it happened last year. When was her first tooth? Don’t know, don’t care to be honest. Once I started settling into the parenting thing with her, I stopped worrying about what she was doing and just let her take the lead. We play every day, snuggle, read books, watch probably too much YouTube, and I let her play drink my coffee while she tells me how good it is. I love being her mother and once I let go of all of the stuff, it really helped me enjoy the ride.

Now that we have added baby number two, things are smooth sailing. Norah does all the normal baby stuff, but I am a lot more relaxed about the fact that she doesn’t look like she is going to roll over anytime soon. I look at her and see a happy baby. I can’t teach her to roll over and I certainly can’t will her to sit up on her own. My husband and I both are amazed at her every day. We talk about how strong she seems compared to our first daughter. I think our perspective is different. We both realize that we get to be their parents and it’s a pretty awesome job.

So ladies who are fretting about milestones, enjoy your life. Strap your baby on and go for a walk outside. Baby playtime is best spent with you. They are so busy growing, just give them love and don’t worry about all the different developmental toys. It’s going to be okay, really. One day they will roll over, sit up, crawl, pull up, take those first few steps, and before long, they are going to start telling you “no” and borrowing the car to go on their first of many first dates. It’s good to educate yourself, but step back and enjoy the ride, because they are only young once.