Monthly Archives: November 2013

Prepping for a baby?

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First of all CONGRATS!  And here’s some completely unsolicited advice from Kristen, a FTM with a now 3 month old!  (Holy crap, the time really does fly!)

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As a FTM, I was an absolute nightmare before the baby came.  I had no idea what to expect and wanted to be the most prepared mother in the history of mothers.  Can we say Type A?!  So, now that my baby is here and all I want to do is enjoy her, I am going to share some things you can do PRE-BABY to make your time with your new baby that much more enjoyable. 

Here are some things that make my day-to-day life easier on a daily basis:

n  Join Amazon Prime!  It shows up at the door in 2 days.  I don’t have to try to get myself together, get the baby together, pack up the diaper bag, check the weather report (staying inside a lot REALLY skews your concept of weather), etc.  I just hop on the laptop, tablet, or even smartphone and get it done.

n  Join Amazon Mom if you are into online shopping and shopping around for the best deal.  My husband and I sometimes have a hard time coming up with 5 items that are cheaper, but we have a lot of items added – we just don’t need them all refilled in the same amount of time.  If there seems to be interest on this topic, I will come back to it in a future post.

n  Join a local warehouse store.  The closest one for me is a BJs, but we have previously belonged to Sam’s Club and Costco.  It’s a lot harder to leave your baby to run to the store than you think it will be.  If you can get some long term shopping done and stock up ahead of time and then periodically, you’ll feel great.  It’s easier to have things on hand.

n  STOCK THE FREEZER! This has been a major help.  My sister came to visit when I was 38 weeks pregnant and we cooked for 2 straight days.  It was absolutely exhausting.  It was August – my feet were super sore and swollen.  I hated my life those 2 days.  I thought I was a complete idiot for agreeing to do this and was certain I would be going into labor any second (she came 3 days late, in case you’re curious). I have absolutely LOVED having that food ready to go.  My next post will be freezer specific.  Now that I have lived and learned from it, I have a lot to say about it.

Here are some things that make my emotional life easier on a daily basis:
**(Some of this is specific to my life situation.  I am very blessed to have a supportive husband.  If you do not have a SO, your days will be different and these may not apply to you.)

n  Get yourself a support group of other mommies.  Seriously.  Even if you are the kind of girl that doesn’t like other girls.  This is INSANELY essential.  I feel closer to some of my online mommy friends than people I see on a regular basis.

n  In the beginning, TAKE IT EASY.  Your body just went through something absolutely amazing but also absolutely traumatic.  While your baby is adjusting to this big scary world, your body is readjusting.  It takes time.  Do not try to rush anything.  Sit/lay down.  Drink water.  SLEEP when you can (hopefully your baby is a good napper and you can follow the advice of sleep when the baby sleeps.  If not, you will probably want to punch everyone who says it and believe me, I feel your pain.  More on that later!)

n  Have some kind of plan with your SO as to how to get you some alone time every day.  Even if it is just 15 minutes to take a shower or have a cup of coffee.  It is important to remain yourself as you were pre-pregnancy (and let’s face it, pre-trying!) if you can remember what that was even like.

n  Have a plan for you and your SO to have some time together every day – just the two of you – to discuss NON-BABY stuff.  We cover all the baby stuff he gets home from work and after she goes down for the night we are just a married couple again (with more laundry).

n  Go outside!  Not for errands.  Just to go outside, weather permitting.  Take walks, sit on the patio, check the mailbox.  Feel the sun and breeze on your skin and get some fresh air into your lungs.  It will do you so much good and it will do your baby good, too!  Decide if you want to be a baby wearer and then pick out some awesome carriers (Cassandra is our resident baby-wearing expert).  If not, a strolled might be your best option! 

n  Be realistic!  For me, I’m staying home for a year and planning to return to work in August 2014, and because I am home I assumed I would have a ton of free time.  I had visions of sending my husband to work with fancy packed lunches, dinner on the table when he got home…  Looking back, that’s downright laughable.  Set TINY goals and truly feel accomplished when you meet these goals.  Start simple like “take a shower today” or “vacuum the living room.”  As your baby grows so will your free time and therefore your daily tasks!

Hindsight being 20/20 and all, if you are a FTM and can afford it, I recommend considering a postpartum doula if you are planning to breastfeed or a postpartum night nurse if you are planning to bottle feed.  I was fortunate enough to have a lot of family help in the beginning.  However, I was trying to maneuver the big scary world of breastfeeding with trips back to the hospital to see the LC and it wasn’t going well.  It would have been great to have a doula stop by a few hours a day/week and be able to help me in the comfort of my own home.  I never even thought about it until long after the fact when breastfeeding had failed, I had stopped EP, and started considering relactating (yup, you guessed it, a post about that is coming up!).

So really, prep ahead of time so that you can just be the mommy you want to be!  Enjoy it.. each day seems to pass faster than the previous!

3 months and not rolling over

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Hey, it’s Cassandra here. I think this is probably the best first post I can offer right now. Currently the two muchkins are taking their naps and I am indulging in a little baby and toddler free time. With my first baby, it was hard for me to take time to myself. I had a really hard time setting her down, even to go to the bathroom. I was so overwhelmed with the responsibility of parenting, I was constantly on edge and hovering over her every move. Now that we have added number two to the growing brood, I find that I am a lot more casual about milestones, crankiness, clothing, going out, etc…Before I was obsessively tracking all of the “average” baby milestones through my handy dandy What to Expect When You Are Expecting App, fretting over every little cough, sniffle, and eye movement. She couldn’t grow up fast enough. I wanted her rolling over at three months, sitting up at six months, crawling at whenever they say she should be crawling, and walking by one year. To be honest, in all of my efforts to watch her into these milestones, I forgot to write any of them down. I also put way too much pressure on her and on me as her mother. She didn’t hit a single one of those averages. She eventually learned to roll over, whenever that was. She sat up around seven months, I think. She was walking around Christmas time, a few months after her first birthday. Her first word was “no” and it happened last year. When was her first tooth? Don’t know, don’t care to be honest. Once I started settling into the parenting thing with her, I stopped worrying about what she was doing and just let her take the lead. We play every day, snuggle, read books, watch probably too much YouTube, and I let her play drink my coffee while she tells me how good it is. I love being her mother and once I let go of all of the stuff, it really helped me enjoy the ride.

Now that we have added baby number two, things are smooth sailing. Norah does all the normal baby stuff, but I am a lot more relaxed about the fact that she doesn’t look like she is going to roll over anytime soon. I look at her and see a happy baby. I can’t teach her to roll over and I certainly can’t will her to sit up on her own. My husband and I both are amazed at her every day. We talk about how strong she seems compared to our first daughter. I think our perspective is different. We both realize that we get to be their parents and it’s a pretty awesome job.

So ladies who are fretting about milestones, enjoy your life. Strap your baby on and go for a walk outside. Baby playtime is best spent with you. They are so busy growing, just give them love and don’t worry about all the different developmental toys. It’s going to be okay, really. One day they will roll over, sit up, crawl, pull up, take those first few steps, and before long, they are going to start telling you “no” and borrowing the car to go on their first of many first dates. It’s good to educate yourself, but step back and enjoy the ride, because they are only young once.